You know that saying about Murphy's law, "whatever can go wrong, will go wrong"? Yeah, you know it. Well guess what? That totally and completely is me. *Sigh* Yup. And if you know me, you are probably laughing, rolling your eyes, and wondering "what happened now?!?!?!"
Sunday started off great. But not really. Because my coffee was cold every time I went to get it, despite the fact that I took forever to take that first sip. The kids and I had decided to head to WalMart to pick up the fixings for S'Mores. Then we went to Costco for bread and milk, and decided to get gas as well. Which, by the way, I had gone and parked on the wrong side of the pump so I had to stretch the hose all the way across the car. (Warning Sign!!). Then we came home and decided to go swimming. By now it's just barely hitting noon. In 100 degree weather.
So the kids and I are out swimming, DD is doing great and has her confidence back up enough to float on out to the deep end, DS just wants me to "bounce" him across from shelf to shelf. We play and splash and sing and splash until 2:30ish (according to my iPod), wherein we decide it's time to go in and make S'Mores. So, we sit on our chairs and dry off for a few, telling stories and enjoying the day. DD gets up to go inside, slams the sliding door all the way open, glances at me, and then slams it shut. The next second ticked by like an hour: you could hear the wooden dowel that I leave in the window rail slide down the glass and fit perfectly into the little spot it was cut for.
All the windows and doors have similar dowels cut to fit in their tracks...making it hard for someone to just pull the screens off and come in.
"No problem" I think. I walk to the front of the house, in my bathing suit, and punch in the numbers on the garage door keypad, all the while thinking "I will be in the house in no time". WRONG. The batteries are out in the keypad!!! No luck there. And I can't call anyone because guess what?!?! My cellphone is in my purse, with my keys, probably on the kitchen table!! And the spare key? In the garage, which I can't get into. Lovely.
I walk back into the yard and advise the kids: "looks like we will be outside for awhile". Instead of cheers or excitement, both kids look broken and depressed. They haven't eaten a good lunch yet, it's over 100 degrees, and no nap.
I turn to face my new challenge. "I can do this" I think to myself. I begin to try to move the sliding door off the rails. I am able to rock it back and forth, even getting it up to about a 15 degree angle, but nothing more. Okay...now what?
DH always leaves tools laying around. Maybe something will work. So around the house I walk again. I find two long flat head screwdrivers, something that looks like a long metal nail file, and a hammer. Thank Goodness that DH never listens. I sit on the ground and contemplate my newly found tools: BREAK THE GLASS!!
No. Not yet. Too expensive!! Do I really want to waste my emergency fund on something like this? No, not yet.
DS has to go potty. He's crying. He really has to go RIGHT NOW. So I take him to a corner, pull down his swim trunks, and let him go. He cries for awhile, apparently I made him pee outside like a dog. Great.
Again I post my butt in front of the locked slider. What to do, what to do? By now DD is whining, she's hungry. GREAT!! And DS, DS has decided that Mama is just like Handy Manny and has Turner, Phillipe and Pat - aren't I cool?!?!?!!?
I decide to fit the flat head between the sliding door and the glass to see if I can somehow manage to wedge the dowel out of the track. Nope. Window is too thick. Then I rock the door back and forth. And I decide to take the metal nail file thingy and shove it between the slider and it's track while it's cockeyed. Good job. Now that thing is stuck.
I try to stick the screwdriver in the space available. Nope, way too thick. I walk around the yard again, there has to be something I can use!!!
Now both DD and DS are whining: who can blame them? They are hot and tired and hungry and perfect bliss is visible right there through the locked glass.
I find these thin metal stakes DH and I had used when we had put the sod down. Who left these out here? Hmmm...could these be what ruined the blades on our lawnmower? I take a couple of them and straighten them out as best as I can. Will it fit? Please let it work. I push one through the little gap that I have made. It fits!! I wiggle it through and can actually rotate the dowel!!
I continue to wiggle the stake pulling it out and pushing it back through, trying to push the dowel up and out of the track. Wiggle, wiggle. Spin, spin. Clunk. Clunk. In some instances the dowel even lifts, but sadly rotates towards the glass, and back into the track.
Finally, in another one of those forever seconds, the dowel lifts up and rotates backwards. OUT OF THE TRACK!!!
I reach up and push the door open. The kids run in and jump on the couches. I pick up the tools, put them back on the various ledges I had found them in the backyard, and go inside. As I go into the kitchen to prepare lemonade and S'Mores for everyone, I glance at the clock on the cable box. 5:47 p.m.
Oh yeah, and I took a spare key from the garage, put it in a ziplock container and buried it in the front yard. Never again will I beg for MacGyver's genious to fall upon me.
No. I think it is better to be safe than sorry. Prepare for the worse and hope for the best. I know, it seems a little pessimistic, but come on. What would you do to not be locked out of your house for over three hours with two little kids?
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