Tomorrow is my anniversary.
We have been married 11 years.
It's almost unbelievable, thinking about it right now. How can that be??? That would mean I'm old right, because I was young when we got married. Can it really be that long?
Uh, yes. We do have a child in 5th grade...
It's been a journey, that's for sure. I'm really not sure how we've made it this far. It's really quite amazing, now that I'm sitting here, thinking about it.
We've been through a lot together. We've experienced a lot of pain and heartbreak...but, we have had some good times, some great moments.
I often read the little blurbs that AOL and MSN post - how to know if you're man is really interested, secrets to a great marriage...you know...those relationship posts from professional journalists. The ones that many of us read hoping for something new, something that will really rock us and make us say "I'm going to start doing that today!" so that we don't fall into the number game of what the odds are we will get divorced.
But really, if someone asked me what my secret is, what would I say?
What would I say?
Be patient, but don't be a door mat.
Be firm, but not unbreakable.
Yes, they will change, it's called evolution. It's called "growing up". Deal with it.
Remember that your relationships need nurturing. Like a plant, it needs food and water, and the sun. For so many of us, this is the number one thing we forget, expecting that our spouse will always be there. But, like lots learn, sometimes that spouse gets tired of waiting for attention...and leaves.
Honestly, for me, it's the little things that keep me here...waiting the long wait while my husband is off working. It's the little things that kept me here while we battled through our wars that were threatening to rip our marriage apart.
Little things, like the way he plays with my hair when we are sitting on the couch. Little things like notes on Post-Its left in my make up box or in the center console of the truck. Chocolate hidden in my underwear drawer, because truly that is the only place the kids won't look. Framing our results at the May Fair Shoot Out, where I totally kicked his butt, despite the fact that he shot better than I did when we were in the military. Cutting my steak, because without him I'd have to become a vegetarian. Little things, like knowing exactly how to make me laugh, even though I'm trying my hardest to be an unemotional rock. Little things, like when I overhear him on the phone telling his buddy that he needs to talk to his "girl"...because, before becoming his wife, the mother of his children, I was just that, his "girl".
Life can be short, with all my heart I hope it's long. We might not have some grand adventure at some exotic beach, traveling the streets of some far away town...but, we have our memories. Memories of working on our cars together, laughing at burnt beans. Remembering when we were absolutely broke and first married, where our fun came from playing video games and researching baseball cards. Remembering how we felt when we moved into our house, our first house, and freaking out because Thanksgiving was two days away, and I couldn't remember which box the pots were in. The birth of our children, both traumatic for him.
I hope I do get to spend more time with my husband. I have learned to cherish our moments together because I've learned that life is way too short, and can be snatched from us in a second. I hope we have another decade, plus more, God willing, with him and our family.
To another day!
